


Petals in Her Hands

by Woofemus



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Flowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-28 23:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6350665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woofemus/pseuds/Woofemus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maki sings, and when she feels the breeze caress her skin, she thinks of the flower that was most beautiful of them all, the one illuminated by sunlight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Petals in Her Hands

When Maki opens her eyes, there is something dark looming above her. Another second, and now she's blinking groggily to herself as her mind begins to return to full wakefulness.

"O-oh!" she hears in a surprising loud squeak as the person above her rears back, letting the sun shine on Maki's face. She shuts her eyes from the sudden light in her face before slowly cracking them open, frowning to herself.

"Um..." Maki turns her head, blinking at the girl shyly fidgeting where she sits next to her.

"Hi," Maki deadpans, mind still hazy with sleep as a yawn breaks out of her. She still remembers her manners though, and slaps her hand over her mouth.

"H-hello," the girl says with a tiny nod, still staring at her. When she continues to stare at Maki and says nothing else, Maki frowns.

"... _yes_?" she asks, unable to help the snap.

"Oh!" The girl shakes her head and smiles sheepishly. "I-I'm sorry, um, it's just, er, we don't..." her voice trails off as she mumbles, so quiet that Maki can _barely_ pick up her voice.

"... sorry, can you speak louder? I didn't catch all of that," Maki has to say, trying to push down her irritation. The girl snaps her head back up at her, guilty look on her face.

"I! I mean, um, I'm! I'm so sorry," the girl stammers, shaking her head. "I mean... um, we don't get many outsiders so um... I don't know how..." she starts to mumble again, and her face turns red. Maki watches her fidget awkwardly for a few more seconds before she sighs, standing up.

"No worries then, I'll be on my way," she says, brushing all the dirt and things off of her.

"W-wait!" The girl stands up as well. Here, Maki notices she's smaller than her, only coming up to just under her chin. "U-um... the... er, flowers... they'll..." she starts to mumble again and this time, Maki really can't hear her.

Maki sighs, rubbing her head, trying to keep her patience about her. "I'm sorry," she says again, trying to keep her voice neutral, "but I can't hear you."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" The girl blinks at her again, and clears her throat before she speaks again. "My name is, um, Hanayo! You should stay for a few more days, because the flowers will bloom, and it'll look so pretty," she finishes, smiling brightly up at her.

Maki is the one blinking at her now, caught off guard at the sudden exuberance. Her purple eyes are shining with excitement as she stares into Maki's eyes, contrasting with the paleness of her face. Her short brown hair, flitting around her face as she twitches with energy only adds to the contrast. "Your voice is, er, really clear, if you speak up," she replies instead, and narrows her eyes at herself because that was _not_ what she wanted to say.

"Oh, u-um, is... is that so?" And now the girl, Hanayo, is back to mumbling. Maki tries not to sigh at her own mistake. She turns her attention to the land before them, a giant sea of green grass, with buds swaying in the spring breeze that gently whips her hair around her face. When the flowers bloom, they would be beautiful, true...

"I guess... I could stay until then," Maki decides, turning back to look at the girl. Hanayo startles and looks back up at her, eyes wide with disbelief, before a smile spreads across her face. Maki's never seen anyone look so... happy, especially at something so small. The wind feels nice on her suddenly warm cheeks.

"I guarantee that you won't regret it, it'll be so beautiful," Hanayo says in an excited whisper. She suddenly stops, coughs into her hand before smiling widely again. The only thing Maki can do is scratch her head in embarrassment as she looks away, unable to face that shining face any longer.

"Maki," she remembers to say in an embarrassed mumble, "my name is Maki, by the way."

–

The nearby village is where Hanayo lives, a small and quaint place. The other villagers are polite and courteous, nodding respectfully to Maki when she passes. She sees the wariness in their eyes though, and she remembers Hanayo's earlier words. Now, Maki can see the truth in her words, when there isn't even an inn for travelers to rest at.

"T-there's a much bigger village down the road," Hanayo explains, gesturing where they stand at the edge of the village. "People usually continue on to there because the, um–" Hanayo pauses to cough into her hand, clearing her throat before continuing, "–excuse me– um, there's usually a lot more supplies that they can pick up. Here, we're just a small farming village, so there isn't really much to offer."

"Is that why no one's really used to outsiders then?" Maki asks, trying not to frown as she turns to look back at the village behind them.

"U-um, yeah," Hanayo says with a nod. "I mean, e-everyone's very nice, really! We're just... um, not used to it, you know?"

"... I guess." Maki sighs as she shrugs, tries to push the feeling of being stared away as she follows after her guide. Hanayo smiles apologetically at her before continuing onward.

Hanayo's home is small and... colorful, Maki notes as she sweeps her eyes over all the different pots of flowers in the room. "You... have a lot of flowers," Maki comments with a raised brow, bending down to peer closely at one.

"I, u-um, really like flowers," Hanayo says shyly, laughing in embarrassment. Several moments of awkward silence pass before Maki pushes her lips together.

"Are... you going to keep standing there?" she has to finally ask.

"O-oh!" Hanayo laughs in embarrassment as she comes into her own house.

Hanayo's house is... small, Maki thinks, as she looks all around her. There is a kitchen to one wall of the house, and across from it to the other wall is a cot, presumably where Hanayo sleeps. A small shelf lined with books is next to the cot, with one book out of place next to the pillow. A table stands in the middle of the house, two wooden chairs pushed in. There are multiple windows and the room is bright with sunlight. The most striking thing though, are all the pots and vases strewn everywhere in the tiny house. There is a single stem in all of them, with a bud at the end.

"... _a lot_ of flowers," Maki comments again, for lack of anything else to say.

"U-um, yeah," Hanayo replies with an embarrassed laugh. "I really love them. I want to be able to see all of them blossom at once one day!"

"... I can tell." Maki bends down to one, looking at it curiously. Truthfully... they all look the same to her, even when she squints her eyes. "Good luck with that."

"U-um..." Hanayo starts before she trails off. Maki turns to look at her, trying to prompt her to speak. "I... er, didn't expect to have anyone over so it's... a little messy, s-sorry for that," she apologizes, bowing her head slightly. "U-usually, everyone in the village h-helps me out but... um... I'll try to clean up right now!" She reaches down to grab a pot, letting out a quick breath as she lifts it up, stumbling to the door.

"... I can help you," Maki offers because, as she looks around her at _all_ the vases and the way Hanayo has trouble carrying one, Hanayo wouldn't even be finished until nighttime. "Here," she says, easily taking the one from Hanayo, "just tell me where to put them."

"Y-you don't have to!" Hanayo starts, reaching her hand out but at a flat look from Maki, she squeaks and withdraws her hand. "It... it's not polite of me as a host to ask you to help me..."

"It's fine," Maki easily says with a sigh. "I'm imposing on you, let me help out at least. C'mon, where do these go?"

"U-um, outside!" Hanayo says as she runs to the door, opening it. "There should already be some other pots outside so, um, you can put them there."

"Alright," Maki says with a nod as she walks outside, carefully balancing the pots in her hands. She doesn't really know how long they take but when Maki finally sits down and wipes the sweat off of her brow, the sky is already a vibrant orange.

"T-thanks for you help," Hanayo says as she leans down, offering a towel to Maki.

"... no problem," Maki says as she takes the towel, wiping her face dry.

"I-I got started on dinner and I went to borrow some extra bedding while you were, um, helping me," her host says, gesturing inside. Maki blinks up at her and realizes she can now smell something cooking inside. "I-it's, um," she pauses to cough into her hand, "s-sorry, um, just a simple stew w-with carrots, potatoes, and meat, i-is that okay?" she asks, fidgeting nervously where she stands.

"... yes?" Maki answers though it comes out more like a question. "I'm okay with that, thanks."

"Oh okay!" Hanayo smiles at her. "I'll be going back into the kitchen then, um, e-excuse me."

Dinner is a quiet affair. The stew is delicious though, one of the best Maki's ever had in a long time.

"T-there's more for seconds," Hanayo says with a smile when Maki puts down her now empty bowl. "You can grab more."

"... it's... um, delicious, so... I guess," Maki mumbles in embarrassment, twirling her hair before she moves up. "E-excuse me then."

After sitting back down at the table with her second helping, Maki continues to spoon the rest of her food into her mouth, trying not to stare at the girl in front of her. She can't really help it though, seeing as she's sitting in front of her. Hanayo takes small scoops with her spoon, eating slowly with a thoughtful expression, something that strikes Maki as odd. Hanayo's sort of eating... daintily, maybe a little... _too_ much–

"U-um," Hanayo begins, snapping Maki out of her staring. "Y-you... um... travel around a lot, do you?"

"... I guess," Maki says with a shrug. "I don't normally stay in one place, so yeah."

"I-is there, um, any reason?" Hanayo watches her carefully.

Maki pauses, putting down her spoon. She stares into her bowl for a moment before she looks back up, shaking her head. "... no, not really."

"... oh." It's silent again. Hanayo turns her eyes back down to the table, an uneasy look on her face. Maki tries not to sigh, knowing that she could answer better, but her conversational skills were certainly something that she needed to work on.

"... I just travel around, seeing the world," she clarifies, unable to stand the slightly tense mood.

"Oh!" Hanayo squeaks, looking back up at her. "Um... I've... I've never left the village so... er... how is it outside?"

"... it's okay."

Dinner is quiet again.

–

Maki trails behind Hanayo, hand on her chin as she stares at the girl in front of her with a suspicious expression.

There's something, tugging at the edge of her mind, something about Hanayo bothers her... something...

"L-look!" Hanayo's voice snaps her out of her thoughts. Or rather, the sudden hand on her arm, trying to tug her forward. She's pointing ahead of them, a bounce in her steps. Maki tries to keep up, surprised at the sudden energy Hanayo has. She's so busy trying to keep her footing that when Hanayo abruptly stops, Maki nearly runs into her.

Scowling, she quickly begins to mutter, "D-don't pull on me so sud–" and Maki feels the words disappear from her mind as her eyes and mouth widen.

In front of them, there is nothing but a giant wave of vibrant colors, petals floating all around, dancing with the wind as they fly in the air. In the breeze that blows, the flowers sway back and forth, trying to hold onto their petals. It makes Maki think that maybe they're trying to keep their beauty from flying away, as they try to hold on to every semblance of their life before it comes time for them to wilt and die. It's... it's...

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Hanayo speaks in an awed whisper. Maki swallows, suddenly aware of the girl standing next to her.

"... yeah," Maki says, blinking, "I-I guess." Hanayo turns to her with a wide expression.

"H-have... you, um, seen something more beautiful?" She begins to wave her hands. "I-I'm sorry, I j-just thought that they were b-beautiful and you should see them but if y-you've already..."

Maki turns to look at her incredulously. "What are you talking about?" she says with a sigh, shaking her head. "I-I mean, they're... um, yeah." She swallows again and clears her throat before she answers. "I-I mean that they're beautiful, I didn't mean that... uh, I've seen anything prettier. I mean..." she trails off, scowling when she realizes she's rambling on.

"O-oh," Hanayo mumbles with a nod. Maki still feels a little bad though, opening her mouth to say something. She loses her chance though, when Hanayo darts out in front of her, spreading her arms as she spins around.

"H-Hanayo?" Maki shouts with a surprised yelp, chasing after her.

"It makes you want to jump through them, doesn't it?" Hanayo only shouts back with a laugh as she runs through the field, leaping all around. Maki chases after her, telling her not to go so fast.

Finally, after what feels like a long time, Hanayo stops, face flushed with exertion as she breathes heavily. Maki pants next to her, hand on her chest as she bends over slightly.

"You… you have a lot more energy than I thought," Maki mutters, eying the girl next to her.

"I save it all for this time of the year," Hanayo answers with a shaky laugh, still breathing hard. For some reason, Maki feels bad that she's said something like that.

"I-I didn't mean it as, um, a bad thing," she mumbles, looking back up at Hanayo. She's surprised when Hanayo giggles at her.

"It's been a while since someone went with me to–" she pauses to cough into her hand for a moment before clearing her throat "–excuse me, um, s-since someone went with me to watch the flowers."

"Really? None of the other villagers go?"

"T-they do, but um..." Hanayo smiles sheepishly, "I-I'm the one who really, um, loves them a lot, you know? I used to have a friend in the village who went with me all the time but u-um... she left the village so..."

"... ah."

"I-I mean!" Hanayo shakes her head. "She... um, didn't leave me but... I didn't... I didn't want her to stay and I told her it wasn't fair to her to have to look after–" She coughs suddenly, and Maki is worried when she doesn't stop.

"H-hey!" Maki is immediately next to her, patting her back soothingly. "You okay?"

Hanayo coughs a few more times before she wheezes slightly, patting her chest before turning back up to Maki with a weak smile. "Y-yeah, t-thank you. I must be, um, more tired than I thought."

"Here, sit down then," Maki says, carefully helping her down.

"O-oh!" Hanayo mumbles under her breath, too quiet for Maki to catch, but under Maki's guidance, she sits down.

"Good?" Maki says, still rubbing her back.

"Yes!" Hanayo says with a furious nod. "Um, thank you."

"... yeah." Maki raises a brow at her. "You've been coughing a lot," she comments as she takes a seat next to Hanayo, staring at her oddly. Hanayo freezes at her words, suddenly looking guilty and worried as she darts her eyes away from her. Her face is flushed but Maki isn't sure if it's entirely due to exertion this time. "I think I have something in my pack to help you," she says slowly, a little bewildered at Hanayo's reaction.

For some reason though, Hanayo looks strangely relieved as she shakes her head weakly and looks back up at her. "O-oh! Um, n-no, it's okay, you don't have to!"

"It's fine." Maki looks at her, crossing her arms. "It sounds like you need it more than me."

"Ahaha..." Hanayo laughs nervously. She coughs once more, as if proving Maki's point. "Are you, um, going to leave tomorrow then?"

"... yeah, I guess." Maki goes over the supplies in her bag. "I'm still traveling and since weather's good, I should travel as much as I can before the winter sets in."

"Ah... that's true." Hanayo nods at her with a smile. "It must be great, being able to travel."

"... it's alright," Maki says with a shrug. "There's a lot of things you have to worry about, like being attacked when you're by yourself but..." She moves her eyes to the field before them, at all the flowers moving gently in the wind. "The only person you really need to worry about is yourself."

"It sounds... um, very carefree."

Maki doesn't say anything at first, only stretches her legs out and leans back on her hands. She looks up at the clear sky above them before turning back down to the field before them. The wind brushes against her body. Her hands clench in the grass, and she slowly relaxes them as she takes a deep breath.

"Sometimes," she murmurs, "just... sometimes."

–

Maki hefts her pack onto her shoulders, letting out a grunt as she does so. Rolling her shoulders for a bit, she makes herself comfortable and checks her belongings one last time.

"W-wait!" She hears Hanayo shout behind her, rushing back into the house. She comes back out, holding a basket. "I prepared some food for you to take," Hanayo says with a smile, holding it out to her.

"Ah..." Maki takes the basket, nodding slowly. "You didn't have to, but thank you." Hanayo continues to beam at her. She shuffles her feet awkwardly, wondering if she should say anything else before leaving. "The... uh, herbs I, er, gave you, remember to brew a cup every night. When you wake up the next day, you'll feel, er, refreshed."

"Oh!" Hanayo blinks at her, as if surprised. She nods quickly though, smiling. "Y-yes! Thank you so much for them!" There is silence again, as Maki wonders if maybe now would be a good time to leave. "U-um..." Hanayo speaks up instead, stopping her. She shyly looks up at her. "I-if... you... um, I mean... the flowers will bloom a-again next year so..." she pauses to clear her throat, "s-sorry, um, you should, come again, if you can?" she finishes, looking at her hopefully. Maki pauses, raising a brow at her.

"... I'll have to see," she finally settles on, because she doesn't want to make promises she isn't sure she'll be able to keep. She tries to ignore the tight feeling in her chest when some of the light in Hanayo's eyes dim. Just as quickly though, Hanayo nods and gives her a smile that suddenly seems more wistful.

"Have a safe journey then," Hanayo says, waving to her as Maki walks away. She continues without a glance back. When she hears the slam of the door, she pauses, sighing softly before continuing on her way, following the petals swirling in the air.

* * *

Maki twirls her hair nervously as she stands outside, eying the house in front of her. She takes a deep breath and is about to step into the lot when the door swings open.

"Oh!" Hanayo stands in the doorway, a vase in her hands, blinking at her. Maki is frozen where she is, surprised at being caught to do anything else. Hanayo smiles widely at her as she puts the vase down and runs over to her. "M-Maki, hello! You came this year!" There is nothing but happiness and pleasant surprise in those violet eyes.

Maki subtly takes a step, still unused to Hanayo's sheer excitement. "I, um, just... happened to be in the area," she mumbles, wishing her cheeks didn't feel like they were burning. "So I-I just thought I'd... come, I guess."

"Oh..." Hanayo loses some of her cheer, and Maki suddenly feels like taking back her words. She doesn't, though she wishes she could, wracking her mind for something that doesn't make her seem rude. Hanayo takes this moment to cough into her hand, interrupting her thoughts. "Oh! The, um, herbs that you gave me last time really helped a lot so..." she smiles again, wide and grateful. "Thank you very much for them!"

Maki feels her face warm in embarrassment and she quickly waves her hands. "Ah, um, y-yeah, I'm... uh, glad to have helped you. I'll... er, pick up more for you if I can," she says, trying not to groan at how much she stammers. Hanayo giggles behind her hand. She clears her throat suddenly, getting Maki's attention.

U-um," she begins, clearing her throat again, "the flowers... will actually bloom tomorrow, so, erm..." she trails off, looking bashful as she turns to look at her house.

"... need help with the pots again?" Maki only asks with a slight quirk of her lips.

–

Just the same as it was last year, the sight of all the flowers in bloom is breathtaking. Maki thinks she's never seen so many colors all gathered so naturally in one spot, awed as she sees a swirl of orange, red, purple, and white mix together in a tornado of petals before scattering away, all on their separate ways.

"Does it still look beautiful?" Hanayo asks with a faint smile, looking at Maki with a proud expression.

"... yeah, I guess," Maki says with a quiet laugh. She bends down, running her fingers over some of the petals, marveling at their softness and beauty before standing back up.

"I wonder where they fly off to?" Hanayo speaks up suddenly, staring at the sky where a swirl of leaves and petals soar through the air.

"... who knows?" Maki says as she plucks a flower, blinking at it. It's a white flower with a yellow center, petals aligned in a way that remind her of a star. A... daffodil, if she recalls. She slowly pulls off a petal and lets go, watches it be taken away the wind until she can no longer see it.

"... it'd be nice to travel," Hanayo mumbles, following the movements of Maki's hands and watching the petals glide away from them.

"Why don't you leave then?" Maki asks, plucking another petal and letting go. "Aren't the flowers always here? You can always return if you want."

"I guess," Hanayo only says, coughing slightly before she smiles weakly. "But I'm... I, um... can't," her voice trails off inaudibly and before Maki can ask her to speak up, she lets out a loud squeak. "And um! It's... just sort of... um, you know, when you have something that's always been there but the moment you um, turn around, it's gone forever? I know it's... um, a little weird of me to think like that, but I feel like if I leave... these flowers will be gone forever."

"... really." Maki glances at the embarrassed girl next to her. "There's... so many. How would all of them even disappear?"

"But even if one of them does, it still means that one of them is gone!" Hanayo says, oddly insistent for some reason. "It still feels a little... _off_ , don't you think so?"

"... alright," Maki says, not intent on wanting to argue something so strange with the girl next to her. She plucks the final petal from the flower, watches it go off into the sky, farther than she'll probably ever be. When she can no longer see it, she looks back to the ground and throws the empty stem on the ground. She blinks then, amazed that she can't even see it anymore after throwing it back into the field, as if swallowed by all the flowers. It makes her click her tongue in annoyance, feeling dissatisfied for some reason.

"During the day, everything just looks really beautiful in the sunlight, doesn't it?" she hears Hanayo suddenly speak up.

"... really?" Maki furrows her brow.

"... you don't think so?"

Maki turns to eye the girl next to her before she looks back up at the sky. "Personally... I'm more comfortable at night," she confesses. "The stars are always there, they've always been guiding me even when I was lost when..." she trails off, frowning at the sudden unpleasantness she feels. She shakes her head before Hanayo can say anything. "When I look up at the stars, I just think they're so beautiful."

"... they certainly are, aren't they?" Hanayo agrees. She smiles at Maki. "Maybe they're the flowers of the night sky?"

"That's... poetic. An interesting way to think about them," Maki says, trying not to laugh. "You _really_ like flowers, don't you?"

"Yes!" Hanayo's smile turns wider. "I mean, it's sort of my namesake but..." her voice trails off as she coughs into her hand. She reaches out instead to cradle one of the many flowers next to them, softly running her fingers over its petals. "The flowers... they're just trying their best to bloom before they wither away," Hanayo says, smiling softly. "It's sad, but in a way, that's... beautiful too, don't you think?"

"... is it?" Maki murmurs with a quiet hum. "I'd say it's more sad than not, to live your life for only one moment."

"Y-yes..." Hanayo whispers, laughing for some reason. "I guess it really would be sad to be like that. But there's something... wonderful about it too, don't you think so? To try your best..."

Maki turns to look at Hanayo, furrowing her brow at her words. Her face is soft and dreamy, as if she's thinking of something else entirely now, seemingly whimsical and silly. It fits her though, Maki thinks, as she looks back down at the flowers all around them.

"I think I'm... kind of like a flower," Hanayo mumbles, "or well, maybe a bud." She moves to sit down, pushes her knees together and moves her arms to hug them though her hand still lingers on the same flower. "I wonder if I could ever bloom like them too," Maki hears in a voice so quiet that she isn't sure if she's meant to hear it at all.

She glances at the girl sitting next to her, wonders if she's trying to say something.

In the end, she stays quiet.

* * *

By the time Maki's trying to recite an excuse in her head, Hanayo's already spotted her.

"Hello! You've come again this year!" Hanayo smiles as she leans back up, waving to her. Maki gestures for her to stay where she is, quickly making her way over to her.

"I, um," and Maki only sighs, realizing she can't think of anything. "Yeah," she mumbles, trying not to grimace at how much warmer it suddenly is. She curses how her face seems to flush even darker when she hears Hanayo giggling.

"Um, I was about to have some lunch," Hanayo says, pausing to cough into her hand for a quick moment, "and, u-um, I might not have enough but would you like to share?"

"If you don't have enough, it's fine," Maki says with a shake of her head.

"Um, well, there's more back at my house, I just didn't think that you... er, were going to... um, come." Hanayo laughs nervously.

"... sorry, I got delayed a little," Maki mumbles. "I didn't find you at your house and when I asked around, they said you were already at the field, so..."

"Oh! Did they?" Hanayo looks at her thoughtfully before smiling. "But I'm happy that you've come again this year. Especially _right_ when the flowers are in bloom too! That's good timing!"

"... I guess so," Maki says, trying to fight the smile threatening to split her face as she looks at the happiness on Hanayo's face. Hanayo bends down suddenly before standing back up, a flower in her hands. There are two different colors on it, red and yellow, with its petals encasing around the middle, pointing upward. She tries to remember what these are called, something with a... t, something–

"Um, can I?" Hanayo asks shyly. Maki snaps out of her thoughts, blinking at her before nodding mutely, unsure of what Hanayo's asking for. Soft fingers gingerly push back her hair, brushing her bangs to the side before Hanayo neatly inserts the flower right above her ear. She steps back and giggles. "It looks beautiful on you!"

Maki instantly feels her whole face catch on fire. She balks, reflexively reaching up to touch the flower on her head. Except she ends up nearly pushing it off, and Hanayo lets out a quiet gasp before stepping forward again, brushing her fingers against her once more to fix the flower. Her fingers are warm and gentle and just as quickly, they're gone once more.

"Yeah, um, thanks," Maki mumbles, wishing she could hide her face behind her hands. Hanayo smiles, the corners of her mouth quirking upward.

"It's beautiful," she says again. Maki watches as Hanayo's own eyes trace over the flower in her hair before staring into her eyes. Her face is crinkled with amusement and the way she looks right now, as the sun hits her face, she looks... she is...

Maki coughs into her hand, quickly looking away, "Er, um, do... do you want one?"

"Huh?" Hanayo blinks at her. "A, er, flower?" At Maki's nod, she hesitantly answers, "Um... sure, if you want?"

Maki quickly sweeps her eyes down, glad for a distraction. She looks amongst the flowers brushing against their skin as she mumbles to herself. Which one... which one...

"Ah!" She bends down, spotting a similar flower except bright yellow instead, picking it up. "U-um... this?" she says though it sounds more like a question, looking between the flower in her hands and the girl in front of her.

"O-oh!" Hanayo blinks at the flower as if surprised. She nods after a moment though, as if laughing to herself. "You can, um, put it on?" she finally says, when Maki still makes no other movement.

"A-ah, um, yeah." Maki steps forward, wondering why she feels so jittery. Her hands tremble and she nearly sucks a breath when her fingers brush against the skin of Hanayo's forehead.

"Oh!" Hanayo flinches away suddenly, blinking at her. "I'm, um, sorry, your fingers are a little cold," she says with an apologetic smile. Before Maki can speak though, she suddenly coughs, patting her chest lightly. "S-sorry," she says as she continues to cough, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. Maki watches her with a worried expression, still holding her hand out. "I'm... I'm okay now, sorry."

"It's fine," Maki mumbles. Taking a deep breath again, she swiftly pushes back Hanayo's hair and inserts the flower as quick as she can behind her ear. She steps back and she notices it's tilted. "U-um, it's, er, crooked, let me fix it," she quickly mumbles, fingers quickly adjusting it. Hanayo's eyes follow her every motion, watching her carefully. Finally, Maki steps back, satisfied that it at least looks better than her first dismal attempt.

"Does it look nice?" Hanayo asks. Maki looks at the flower before back at Hanayo, face turning red when she sees Hanayo smiling patiently at her.

"Y-yeah," she stammers, "it's, you're– uh, er, it's... pretty," she finishes with a mumble, scratching the back of her head as she looks away, the words lost in her throat.

"This flower," Hanayo speaks, almost absently as she traces along the outline of the one in her hair, "is called a tulip."

"… oh."

"Maki," Hanayo suddenly speaks up, voice soft and quiet, "do you know the meaning of flowers?"

"... no, I don't," she admits, wondering if Hanayo will ask if she wants to learn. Instead, Hanayo mumbles something under her breath and smiles secretively as she continues to touch her yellow flower.

–

Maki retires early for the night, tired from traveling all day. For some reason though, she finds herself waking up, blinking groggily to herself as she rubs her eyes. The moon faintly illuminates the inside of the house, signaling that the night is still early. Groaning softly, she's about to go back to sleep, when she hears it.

It sounds like... a voice? As she strains her ears, she realizes yes, it certainly is. Even in the dim lighting of the house and her still half asleep state, she can tell she is alone in the house. Trying to control her shivering, she grabs her coat from her bag and puts it on before heading outside.

Hanayo stands a little ways off, facing toward the outskirts of town, to where the woods are. She faces up toward the stars and the moon, crooning to them. Maki steps closer, trying to keep her steps light as she creeps closer. Hanayo is blissfully unaware, hand on her chest as she sings, a soft melody Maki's never heard before.

Her song is abruptly cut off when she begins to cough, her whole form bending over.

"Hanayo!" Maki rushes over, rubbing her hand soothingly on her back as she holds Hanayo steady. "Hanayo!"

"M-Ma–" she coughs again before suddenly clearing her throat. A few more times, and Hanayo is taking a steady breath before long. She looks at Maki with a guilty expression, shaking her head as she leans against her. "S-sorry about that, did I wake you up?"

"... no," she says, trying to push the uneasy feeling inside of her down. In the moonlight, Hanayo looks... weak, and frail, so... _small._ Maki doesn't know why she feels unsettled. Even Hanayo's body, leaning against her, is shivering. "Were you out here in the cold?! Jeez," Maki mutters, quickly taking off her coat. Ignoring Hanayo's protests, she wraps her coat around the tiny girl, making sure her arms are also tucked inside. "I'll go get another one, wait here–" she blinks, looking down at her arm.

"N-no, it's... um, it's okay," Hanayo says with a pleading look, tugging on Maki's sleeve gently. "I'm okay, really. Your coat is, um, really warm."

"... are you sure?"

Hanayo nods, smiling reassuringly at her. Maki slowly turns back around, sighing.

"T-the stars are, um, nice and bright tonight, aren't they?" Hanayo mumbles as she turns her attention to the shiny lights above them.

"... yeah," Maki whispers, feeling so tired all of a sudden.

"... is... there... um, something wrong?"

"Hm?" Maki turns to Hanayo with a brow raised. "What makes you say that?"

"You um... kind of seem..." she waves her hands vaguely as she grasps for a word. "Um, I guess... down? I'm sorry, it was because I woke you up, wasn't it?"

"Jeez, are you still on that?" Maki's look is deadpan as she raises her hand, poking Hanayo in the forehead, earning a squeak from the other girl. "No, it wasn't, stop thinking about that. It's really not, it's... it's..." she pauses, suddenly feeling a heaviness in her chest. She turns back out to the stars, taking a deep breath.

"... I used to sing a lot when I was younger," she admits. She hears Hanayo fidgeting next to her.

"... what happened?" she hears in a shy voice.

"I..." she pauses, suddenly finding her throat dry. There's only one other person she's told this to, and she had to swear them to secrecy.

Seeing her hesitation, Hanayo shakes her head, laying a hand on her arm. "I-it's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I..." Maki turns to her, frowning before she sighs. "My parents... wanted me to follow them in their footsteps," she mumbles "They were doctors, but some of... the best. People from all over came to see them... but I... I wanted to keep singing. I liked singing, because it made everyone happy, made everyone smile. But they told me that if I wanted to be a doctor, I had to stop singing because there was no more time for that. I didn't want that." She stops to rub her forehead tiredly. "There was a really bad fight and I... I just packed my things and left. I haven't been back since then."

"... ah," Hanayo mumbles. Her hand is still on Maki's arm, reminding her that she's still there. Maki lets out a rough bark of laughter.

"Jeez, it all sounds so stupid," she mutters, "I ran away for such a stupid reason, and I just... I don't want to admit that to them."

She blinks when Hanayo suddenly moves in front of her, trying to look at her sternly, except it makes Maki let out a snort instead. Hanayo's face turns sheepish before she shakes her head, staring straight at her. "I don't... think you should really be afraid of them," Hanayo says, her voice still quiet. She lets out a tiny cough before clearing her throat. "I mean... if... if they really love you... then... they'll accept you if you go back, because... um, they miss you." Her voice trails off as she mumbles, voice so quiet that Maki almost doesn't hear her. "T-that's what I believe at least. You shouldn't... really be... um, thinking about that for the rest of your life."

Hanayo looks away from her. "I-I don't really know my parents, my mother died giving birth to me and my father was the one who gave me my name, but he passed away from illness when I was really young so I don't remember him..." she trails off with a cough, clearing her throat. "I-I'm sorry, it... um, wasn't my place to–"

"No," Maki interrupts, shaking her head. "It's..." she stops, "it's okay, I guess."

"S-sorry," Hanayo still squeaks out again, "you d-don't have to lis–"

"Hey!" Maki makes a face at her. "Stop talking like that. If you're really being a bother, don't you think I'd already tell you?"

"U-um... I guess?" Hanayo mumbles in an uncertain voice.

"... jeez," Maki mutters, shaking her head. "Stop acting so scared all the time! You need some more confidence in yourself!"

"Ah..." Hanayo looks down at her feet. "I'm s-sorry."

"... stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault," Maki says in a tired voice, rubbing her forehead. An awkward silence hangs in the air afterward, and Maki tries not to fidget uncomfortably. "Just wondering," Maki begins, mostly as a way to break the silence, "do you like singing?"

Hanayo slowly turns her head back up at her, an embarrassed expression on her face. "Y-yes, I do, but I'm... I know I'm not very good at it," she mumbles, looking away from her now.

"... you're okay," Maki says with a critical eye. "Here, I'll show you way to help you improve," and before she even realizes it, she begins to sing, for the first time in so long.

The memories come back to her instantly and she shuts her eyes tightly. Instead of trying to push them out as she always does, she feels them slowly trickle in. She remembers the smile of her mother when she finished her song and all of the village clapped so heartily for her. She remembers the quiet smile of her father as she shows him the book she managed to finish reading. She imagines their heartbroken look when they discover she is gone the next morning in an act of terrible impulsiveness.

Maki stops singing and opens her eyes slowly, as if in a daze. When she regains herself, she pushes her face down, rubbing at them, hating that her hands are becoming wet. "S-sorry," she mutters, "I just... I, um, just wanted to show you... I..." she stops talking when Hanayo slowly takes her hand, rubbing it soothingly. She grits her teeth and continues to hide her face behind her other hand. She can't stop the tears from streaming down, silently weeping. Hanayo hums softly as she gently cradles Maki's hand.

She doesn't know how much time passes, but all she knows is when she wakes up tomorrow, her eyes and nose will feel sore. "Sorry," she mumbles again, "I didn't mean to just... um..."

"It's okay," Hanayo only says in return, "do you feel better now?" She makes a strange sound, as if clearing her throat, but through the cracks of her fingers, Maki can see her looking at her worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. I guess I... I'm... alright." Maki takes a deep breath, and another. She slowly takes her hand away, staring at it. She grips Hanayo's hand tight, her face pained as she clenches her hand into a fist. "Yeah, I... yeah," she murmurs uselessly, shaking her head. "Sorry about that."

"Um... it's fine," Hanayo says, still gently touching her hand.

"I'm okay," Maki says again, trying to convince herself with a nod. "I'm okay," she says with more confidence, holding Hanayo's hand in a white grip. "I'm... okay." She slowly relaxes her hands, lets them fall down to her side, feels Hanayo's slip off and tries not to think about how cold it feels.

"Jeez!" she says with a shaky laugh, "I just wanted to show you how to improve your singing so you could learn and sing better but I ended up just... ugh." She grimaces, groaning to herself. Hanayo makes a sound, something that sounds between a laugh and a cough. Maki turns to her, hands already steadying Hanayo as she has another coughing fit. "You okay?"

"Um, yeah," Hanayo says, recovering quicker than last time. "I'm fine now, thank you."

"... yeah." Maki slowly turns back to the stars, blinking at them. She wonders if her father and mother stare up at them and think she'll ever return. Maybe... just maybe...

"Are you going to go to sleep?" she hears Hanayo ask in a quiet voice. Maki opens her mouth to answer before she shakes her head.

"Nah, maybe a little later. I want to look at the stars a little more. Are you?"

"Oh, um, no..." Hanayo shakes her head as well, slowly turning her body to face in the same direction as Maki, staring up at the sky. Maki can feel her staring at her though, can hear her fidgeting under the rustling of her coat.

"... need something?" she asks. Hanayo startles, embarrassed to be caught off guard.

"U-um... if it's not too much trouble..." Hanayo continues to fret in place. Maki waits for her, tapping her finger against her arm. Hanayo scratches her head sheepishly before shyly looking up at her. "Is it okay if I listen to you sing? I-I think you sounded, um, beautiful and, um..." A quick look from Maki silences her and her face turns red from embarrassment.

Maki looks back up at the stars, still glittering and endless. Underneath them, she feels so tiny and insignificant, as she stands here staring up at them. In their radiance, she feels like all the worries in her mind fade away.

In the daytime, the flowers will bloom and it'll be a nothing but a whirl of petals flying all around, swirling in the air before scattering away wherever the winds go. The difference though, is that the girl standing next to her, who always looks so unsure and uncertain of herself, will be in the middle, dancing along with the brightest smile on her face, without a care in the world as the sun shines down to give her her own spotlight.

When she thinks about that... for some reason... Maki feels light, as if she's suddenly unburdened. Her mouth twitches and she lets out a soft sigh.

"Yeah," she says, giving one last look to the stars before turning her eyes down. The moonlight illuminates both of them, makes Hanayo look even softer than normal even as she blinks in confusion at her. Maki looks at her for a moment, pushing the sudden uneasy feeling from before out of the way. There is no place for that here, not right now. The corners of her mouth quirk, giving her a tiny smile.

"Yeah," she says again, turning back up to the stars. Their hands brush, and Maki slowly takes Hanayo's tiny hand into her own, pushing their fingers together as if trying to will life into it. Hanayo's hand feels small, and Maki doesn't know why she feels like if she looks away, the girl next to her will be gone, just like the flowers when spring is gone.

"I'll sing for you," Maki only says in a quiet voice, "I'll sing... for you."

* * *

Drudging down the road, Maki groans, hefting her pack higher up onto her shoulders. The road she travels is beginning to become intimately familiar to her, remembering the giant boulder on the left side of the path, a sign that tells her that just a little more and she'll be out of the woods soon.

Sure enough, as she continues along the path, she emerges out of the shelter of the trees, bringing her arm up to shield her eyes against the glare of the sun that was hidden by the thick foliage that no longer shield her. All the heat makes the pack on her back even heavier and she groans again, hurrying down the road.

"Hello!" Maki hears and she pauses, turning to see who's called out to her. A woman with black hair tied in a messy bun stands a little ways off with a bucket of water in her hands. Maki remembers her as the lady who runs the general goods store, always so stern faced as if trying to deter thieves. She gives Hanayo some of the flower seeds, Maki remembers. Right now though, she softens her stern look to give Maki a friendly smile. "You're the one that comes to visit Hanayo, are you? It's already that time of year, is it?" she calls out.

"H-hello," Maki answers back, wincing slightly at her tiny stammer, clearly caught off guard. "Um, yes, I... er, think?"

The woman laughs before waving at her. "Time always seems to go by so fast. Go on then, I won't be keeping you. Hanayo should be in her house. Please take good care of her."

"T-Thank you!" Maki shouts, going back down the road. She pauses in the middle, turning back around, narrowing her eyes as she thinks back on the villager's words. "And, er, good day!" she shouts instead, putting her worrying thoughts aside for later. She continues back down the path, blinking when the other villagers greet her with a nod and brief smile.

She arrives in front of Hanayo's house and immediately notices all the flower pots strewn across all the front, single stem that ends in a bud, in all of them. It makes her smile exasperatedly, stepping carefully to not knock over any of them as she steps to the door.

Maki knocks and waits. And waits. Narrowing her eyes, she's about to knock again before the door suddenly swings open and Maki nearly ends up rapping her knuckles against Hanayo instead.

"O-oh!" Hanayo blinks for a moment before a wide smile breaks across her face. "M-Maki, hello!" she says breathlessly, "you're here this year too!"

"U-um," Maki scratches the back of her neck sheepishly, wondering why her cheeks are flushed, "yeah. Hi." It feels a little silly saying this every year. Hanayo continues to beam at her and Maki feels even more embarrassed for some reason. "I, um... have something for you," she mumbles, reaching behind into her pack.

"Oh!" Hanayo shakes her head. "Y-you don't have to take it out here. Please, come–" Hanayo pauses to cough to herself. She looks as if she's about to speak before she has another fit. Maki immediately reaches out her hands to steady her, suddenly worried. Hanayo takes several deep breaths before giving her a shaky smile. "I-I'm sorry, excuse me, um, please, come in!"

Maki steps into the house, brow still furrowed as she watches the other girl carefully. Her face is flushed and there is slight sweat on her forehead. The blankets are thrown off her cot, most likely in a hurry to open the door.

"Hanayo," Maki starts, "are you–"

"You've come for the flowers again, huh?" Hanayo speaks up suddenly, still breathless. Her voice sounds weak though, as if she's straining herself.

" _Hanayo._ " At Maki's tone, she pauses, slowly turning around, guilty expression on her face now. She's breathing heavily, her face red with exertion. She smiles weakly.

"I'm... I'm sorry," she speaks, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm... I..." and she collapses.

–

Hanayo doesn't open her eyes until the next day, long when the sun has already fallen and the only thing fighting against the encroaching darkness is the brilliance of the moon and stars.

"Ma... Maki?" she rasps, and instantly, Maki's at her side, peering down at her.

"H-Hanayo!" she nearly shouts, grabbing the wet towel off of her forehead. "H-How are you f-feeling?"

"I'm..." she coughs suddenly and with each cough, Maki feels as if her heart stops. She quickly lifts the bowl of water she's prepared earlier to Hanayo's lips.

"Here, water, drink up," she instructs, pushing Hanayo up. She tries not to frown when Hanayo only barely manages a few sips before pushing it away, shaking her head. Maki helps her back down to the bed, dabbing the sweat off her forehead.

"Were you... taking care of me the.. whole day?" Hanayo breathes, turning to face her but not quite opening her eyes.

"... yeah," Maki says, making sure Hanayo is comfortable. "Are you hungry?" Hanayo shakes her head. Maki distracts herself by tucking Hanayo in, trying to scowl at how her hands shake.

"You... you missed the flowers then," Hanayo murmurs, coughing for a moment.

"... that's okay," Maki says, leaning back when she's sure Hanayo is comfortable.

"You... came all the way out here... to see them... and because of..."

" _Hanayo,_ " Maki says again, wincing at how desperate she sounds, "didn't I say before not to talk like that? You're–um, your health is more important so... don't worry about things like that right now."

"S-sorry..." she hears, and Maki sighs. "'m... sorry that you had to... find out like this... I didn't... want to be treated differently..." she mumbles. "I... just..."

"Hanayo," Maki murmurs, trying to keep her voice steady, "I said don't worry about that right now, just... just get some rest first, and then you can tell me everything later, okay?"

"... yeah," Hanayo mumbles something else and Maki can't hear. She feels bad for asking but she asks for the girl to repeat it again. "I... I remember... um... you said you had... something for... me?" And Maki blinks at her, confused, until she widens her eyes.

"Oh!" she turns to her pack, leaning against the wall next to her. "I... um, bought something that I think you'd like." She takes out her present, wrapped in a small box. "I guess I'll open it for you..." she says in a quiet voice, opening the lid.

"What... what is it?" Hanayo asks, turning to her. Her eyes are half-lidded but Maki doubts she can still see.

"It's a, um, wooden figure of a deer. I thought that... you might like it," Maki mutters, sighing to herself, thinking there could have been something better, like maybe a cat.

"T-thank you," Hanayo breathes, twitching her mouth into a smile. "I'm... um, happy to know you... got something for me..."

"... do you want me to put it anywhere?"

"Um... you can... put it on the shelf... behind me," Hanayo mumbles, turning her head up. Maki quickly puts a hand on her head, gesturing her to stay still.

"Yeah, I got it," Maki says, carefully balancing it on top of the shelf. She turns back to Hanayo when she hears the girl giggling.

"It'll be like... it's watching... over me," Hanayo says, smiling at her.

"... yeah," Maki says, her voice tight. She moves back to her original spot, next to Hanayo's bedside, watching her carefully. "How... how d-do... _you_... feel?" she decides to ask in a tiny voice, staring at Hanayo's face, trying not to think about how slow her breathing is. Hanayo moves toward her before she slowly opens her eyes, purple staring into purple.

"I... I think I'm... happy," Hanayo says, in a voice so quiet that Maki can barely hear her. "I'm happy that you've... come to see the flowers bloom. No one else really does except for me so... thank you." She smiles gently before she coughs.

Maki grits her teeth and tries to stop her voice from wavering. "J-jeez, that's... that's not what I meant," she mumbles, hating that her vision is starting to mist over. Hanayo smiles apologetically at her.

"Next year... will you still... see the flowers with me?" Hanayo asks. She tries to lift her hand, reaching out to Maki weakly.

Maki takes her hand and leans down, pushing Hanayo's cold hand against her warm cheek. She wants to laugh bitterly, because she should be the one asking Hanayo that. She sucks in a breath instead, moving Hanayo's hand so she doesn't feel the wetness on her cheeks. When she speaks, her voice is clear.

"Next year," she says, "and the year after that too... and... after..." she can't continue, feels the words get stuck in the back of her throat.

Hanayo hums, a quiet murmur that seeps into the darkness. She turns her head again to her, moving her fingers to softly run along Maki's face.

"Can... you listen... to a selfish request of... mine?" she asks. Maki presses her hand closer and scoots to loom over Hanayo.

"Yeah, I'm here," she says. She moves the hand in her grasp down to her lap, cradling it gently, tries not to squeeze it when she hears another cough.

"Can I... listen to you sing?" she breathes, the sound barely escaping past her lips.

Maki pauses for a moment, before carefully tucking Hanayo's hand back into her blanket, lingering on for a brief second. She drags her hand upward, to Hanayo's face. Gently, she brushes back the mussed and sweat-soaked hair. Her fingers stay as she turns back to look at the moon outside, to look at the stars that shine so bright, almost tauntingly so.

She sings, a soft lullaby, turning back to face the slumbering girl, traces Hanayo's smile with her fingers and wishes she didn't feel the need to memorize it.

* * *

Before she leaves, she asks everyone in the village. They all give her the same answer: they don't know. The local healers around give her the same answer as well. It is something she's always had, the same that took her mother and her father as well, and they've already done everything they can. The villagers shake their heads at her and tell her there is nothing she can do, resigned look in their eyes as they watch their flower wither away.

She doesn't want that, doesn't want to give up. She curses herself for her helplessness. If only she were more observant, if only she had studied more, if only... if only she didn't...

If she had never left, she would have had the knowledge to do... _something._

But if she had never left, she wouldn't have met Hanayo in the first place.

She doesn't know what's worse, and she has no time to wallow in pointless thoughts that will darken her mind even further.

In her desperation, she goes back to it all. She needs to do this, she tells herself, for Hanayo, she repeats in her mind, as she stares at the house that seems both familiar and unfamiliar to her. As she stares up at the door, she remembers when she used to look up at the doorknob. Now, as she places her hand on it, she wonders how long it's been. She opens the door.

Her mother shrieks at seeing her and her father drops his papers. Despite everything, tears spring to her eyes and again, Maki cries, apologizing for everything in the arms of her parents. His father doesn't scold her as she expected to do. His face looks longer than usual and there are bags under his eyes that never used to be there. Her mother's eyes are almost permanently red, a fresh batch of tears ready whenever she looks at her daughter.

She cannot revel in this feeling for so long though. She tells them she needs their aid. If she cannot find the cure with the best doctors around, then no one can, she decides. She doesn't rest at all, always searching, searching, _searching_...

It takes her exactly one year.

The next time she comes, she has a bottle in her hands, liquid sloshing dangerously in the container as she runs, one destination in her mind. She wears herself ragged but she is racing against time itself. When she finally arrives though, a sudden sense of dread overtakes her, as she stares in horrified amazement at the sight before her. The familiar vases line the house outside, all the flowers she remembered that were buds are now in bloom, with different splashes of color, as if in cruel mockery.

A villager comes by, an old man whose shoulders are broad as he hefts a piece of lumber over his shoulder, puts his hand on her arm and shakes his head, a look of pity on his face. Maki nearly drops the bottle of elixir in her hands when he shows her what she was desperately fighting against, already too late, flowers laid upon the ground. She worsened so fast, he says in a somber tone, and before they knew it... she was...

Maki isn't sure what happens after but when she regains herself, she's suddenly at the familiar field that she can remember as easily as her own home. The flowers are invigorated with life, their petals swirling all around her before scattering upon the winds. Her body has taken her here in pure reflex, thinking they still follow behind the assured footsteps of a girl bouncing down the road in her excitement to see the flowers. This year, she's arrived right on time.

She holds her hands out, feels the petals tickle her skin before moving on, flying higher up where the wind goes. She raises her hands, wants to grab them and hold on, whispers and tells them to not go, watches them fly out of her reach instead. Maybe... if she had held on tighter... maybe...

Slowly, she lowers her hand, still staring at the sky as the wind blows around her, hands falling back down to her side.

"The flowers are just as beautiful," Maki whispers as she sweeps her eyes over all the flowers in bloom, "even more so this year, Hanayo."

When she closes her eyes, she imagines a girl with a smile as lovely as the flowers around them, dancing all around as the petals swirl all around her. Her eyes always shine with the glow of life when she is here, and she is beautiful even as she dances alone in the field. Taking a deep breath, Maki opens her eyes and tries to keep her voice steady, even when the tears finally fall down her face.

Maki sings, and when she feels the breeze caress her skin, she thinks of the flower that was most beautiful of them all, the one illuminated by sunlight.


End file.
